animalstalkinginallcaps:

SO WAIT, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT: A 26 YEAR OLD WITH A GUN FOLLOWS A COMPLETELY UNARMED 17 YEAR OLD FOR A FEW BLOCKS, CALLS THE COPS TO REPORT A “SUSPICIOUS” PERSON IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND THEN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND SHOOTS HIM, AGAINST POLICE ORDERS, WITH NO WITNESSES, AND HE ISN’T ARRESTED BECAUSE HE CLAIMS SELF DEFENSE?

YEP, THE GUY HAD A NOSEBLEED. SO, YOU KNOW … IT’S ENTIRELY PLAUSIBLE THE KID HIT HIM.

DIDN’T SHANE JUST GIVE HIMSELF A NOSEBLEED ON THE WALKING DEAD LAST NIGHT TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE HE’D BEEN ATTACKED? ISN’T THAT LIKE … A SHITTY CLICHÉ AT THIS POINT?

MAYBE THEY DON’T HAVE DISAPPOINTING ZOMBIE SOAP OPERAS IN FLORIDA.

OKAY, BUT EVEN IF THE 17 YEAR OLD PUNCHED THE GUY, WHICH IS KIND OF UNDERSTANDABLE IF YOU’RE BEING STALKED BY A STRANGER IN A SLOW MOVING VEHICLE WHO GETS OUT AND ACCOSTS YOU, AN UNARMED KID ISN’T ACTUALLY “LIFE THREATENING” TO A GROWN MAN. I MEAN, YOU MIGHT GET YOUR EYE DOTTED, BUT YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE, SO USING LETHAL FORCE IS STILL USING TOO MUCH FORCE, EVEN IF YOU WERE A POLICE OFFICER AND NOT JUST SOME FAT DICKHEAD RACIST PIECE OF SHIT WITH A CONCEALED WEAPONS PERMIT, RIGHT?

THAT’S WHY WE DON’T LIVE IN FLORIDA, CARL. WELL, THAT AND THE WHOLE ELECTION FRAUD THING.

AND THE HUMIDITY.

AND THE HUMIDITY.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

I THINK AT THIS POINT IT’S FAIRLY OBVIOUS THAT THE REPUBLICANS AREN’T ACTUALLY TRYING TO GET ANYONE ELECTED. THEY JUST KEEP THROWING THESE CARTOON CANDIDATES ALL OVER THE TV, SPEWING INANE AND/OR IDIOTIC NONSENSE. THEN, WHILE YOU’RE BUSY EITHER WRITING 25,000 WORD ESSAYS ON WHY SANTORUM’S THE ANTICHRIST OR HIDING IN YOUR CLOSET CRYING ABOUT HOW YOU CAN’T HANDLE ANOTHER SOUNDBITE, SOME HORRIBLE BILL THAT SENDS HOMELESS PEOPLE TO DEATH CAMPS OR FORCES GIRL SCOUTS TO GET CLITORIDECTOMIES SLIPS QUIETLY THROUGH CONGRESS.

IT’S POLITICAL DISTRACTION. A RED HERRING, IF YOU WILL.

SPEAKING OF HERRING, YOU WANT TO GET LUNCH? I’M STARVING.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU DON’T THINK THERE’S ENOUGH SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT CLIMATE CHANGE?

BASICALLY, YES. I THINK THERE ARE TOO MANY CONFLICTING OPINIONS WITHIN THE GENERAL ‘CONSENSUS’ AND THAT IT’S FOOLISH TO TRY TO FORCE EVERYONE TO ACCEPT SOMETHING THAT EVEN ‘THE EXPERTS’ CAN’T AGREE ON, LET ALONE CHANGE THE WAY WE LIVE, JUST BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE TRUE. YOU CAN’T ASK EVERYONE TO BASE THEIR ENTIRE LIVES AROUND A HUNCH. IF YOU BELIEVE IT’S HAPPENING, FINE. DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS NECESSARY TO HELP, BUT DON’T START PREACHING TO ME ABOUT IT UNTIL YOU’VE GOT SOME COLD, HARD, IRREFUTABLE FACTS.

THAT’S INCREDIBLE. YOU JUST SUMMED UP MY ENTIRE OUTLOOK ON RELIGION IN TWELVE SECONDS.